Access is a Human Right:

Adrienne Gomez on Advancing Sex Ed for All 

Edited by Taruni Donti

In this conversation with Senior Communications Coordinator Taruni Donti, Adrienne shares her experience co-creating anti-oppressive recommendations alongside youth leaders and sex ed advocates, what keeps her going amidst seemingly insurmountable challenges, and what it takes to build a future where all young people have access to shame-free, inclusive sex education. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Taruni: Why is comprehensive sex education (CSE) important to you, personally and professionally? 

Adrienne: Growing up, the sex education that I received was rooted in shame and prevention rather than exploration and pleasure. For example: In fifth grade, I lived in Washington and received FLASH, or Family Life and Sexual Health, a form of CSE that we actually refer to now when we work with schools. FLASH is a good foundation for CSE. But when I took it as a young person, we were separated by gender. Female-identifying folks were taught be a female teacher. Male-identifying folks were taught by a male teacher. There was no discussion around gender, and no room for folks who didn’t identify within these strict boundaries. The education was not inclusive. Nor did it acknowledge anxiety and the myriad of emotions and experiences that come up as our bodies change. We just looked at diagrams and charts.   

Then in seventh grade, during my health class, we had a session with flour babies. We literally had a bag of flour that we took care of for a week, as if it was a child. The last day before I had to turn in my bag of flour to the teacher, I put my flour baby on the table – which I don’t think is good practice for a real child – and the bag fell to the ground and busted open. I remember crying and feeling so upset. I thought, “Now I’m going to fail!”, because failing was the only important thing in that moment. But then my dad says, “Don’t worry!” and pulls out another bag of flour from the cabinet. I learned nothing from that experience. That sex education was also rooted in shame and lacked nuance. 

Flour babies have also made an appearance on TV shows – such as Kim Possible and Hannah Montana – intended for young people. 

After that, I don’t remember having sex ed. Not even sex ed where I learned about STIs in high school. I lived on a military base in Germany for a few years, where the education I received was still based on American curriculum. Then I returned to Washington to complete my formal K-12 education. I didn’t have any access to CSE during that time.  

These experiences really informed my professional drive to bring CSE to young people and partner with young people to inform how sex ed is implemented. No one ever asked me what I wanted or needed to learn about. There was little acknowledgement of what was happening or could happen in my body. I’ve worked in reproductive health for over ten years now, and I’ve learned so much about the potential that CSE can facilitate in a person’s life. Often, I wonder if some of my experiences in life would have been different if I had access to the CSE that I’m now advocating for. And how would our world be different if everyone growing up had access to CSE that is not rooted in shame or dictated by adults, but that is actually informed by young people and their experiences? It’s so powerful when young people have the freedom to show up how they are and explore what they’re navigating in their body.  

Also, I didn’t have those conversations with my parents openly and without shame. My parents were young when they had me. I was the first kid out of four. They were doing the best they could. I just don’t think my parents had the skills to discuss anything about sex in a way that wasn’t rooted in prevention and saying, “Just don’t do it”. Now in the work that the Youth Sexual Health Program does at Trailhead, we concentrate our efforts not only in schools, but we also consider how parents can build the resources and skills to be trusted, askable adults and navigate CSE with their young people. Education is holistic. Everyone plays a part.  

Taruni: The 2023 State of Adolescent Sexual Health [SASH] report is incredible and provides clear guidelines to transform young people’s experiences with sexual health. What was it like to guide that process, and what were some key insights or moments that stayed with you during its creation?  

Adrienne: By the time we started working on the 2023 SASH, the report had been around for a decade. People had put a lot of time and energy into previous versions, which pulled specific data and told a certain story, year after year. But this time, we wanted to do something different. 

The 2023 SASH report aimed to center folks that historically have not been centered nor invited into spaces – and compensated for their time – to share their lived experience. It was such an amazing process. I was just one part of the effort, and by no means do I take full credit – or even half credit. Tomei Kuehl and Talia Cardin facilitated those Youth Sexual Health Program Board meetings with so much passion and energy – they’re amazing. When we recruited for the Board, we were intentional in centering folks with intersecting marginalized identities who could share how they navigate the world and systems of oppression. The folks on the Board – both young people and adults – gave us time, energy, vulnerability, honesty, and transparency as they shared their lived experiences with sexual health systems. 

The process was hard and uncomfortable. And I say uncomfortable in the best way. There were times when Tomei and Talia graciously reminded me about what we set out to do and ensured that we lived up to our commitments. The process was also liberating. Trailhead, as the organization leading the 2023 SASH report, didn’t have all the answers – nor were we expected to. I feel so privileged that I could be a part of that space and that Trailhead had the resources to bring that space together, but I, and Trailhead as a whole, really acknowledged our power and explored how we could leverage that power in an intentional way. We had a lot of conversations – within Trailhead, with partners, and with funders – around letting go of expectations of what this final report would look like.  

For example, the pleasure art shops came from us leaning into the process. Folks on the Board said that we needed to further center the voices of young people in the report. Talia, who was also a young person, came up with the idea and designed the pleasure art shops to center young people’s lived experiences around sex, relationships, and pleasure. While Trailhead provided the resources, the innovative idea really came from young people themselves. Leaning into the process and letting go of how the end deliverable looked allowed for something innovative, creative, and exciting to happen.  

The stories of community members and young people informed really what came next. Quantitative data has value, but I don’t think we’ve given enough power to lived experience. From the start to the end, that’s what I feel like the 2023 SASH did well, and the report informs how we carry on our work now.

The Pleasure Art Shops feature youth artwork that reflect on relationships to pleasure, sex, and their bodies, illuminating new perspectives on the state of sexual health in Colorado.

Taruni: How have you seen the recommendations from the 2023 SASH be implemented?  

Adrienne: While I can’t speak for other organizations, I know people refer to it a lot in their work. Tess Burick, Trailhead’s Senior Communications Manager, created a really cool website for the 2023 SASH that has reached over 7,000 unique visitors from 46 US states and 38 countries. This work has had an incredible reach.  

I can speak for the Youth Sexual Health Program. The 2023 SASH report and the Youth Sexual Health Program Board informs our values, all our work, and how we show up in the community. After the SASH was completed and disseminated, we assessed our work. Because of the nature of the work, one organization cannot be responsible for all parts of the SASH – nor should they be. So what can we be accountable to? We worked with Tomei and Goddess Tyescha, a Board member and incredible sex ed advocate, who helped us inform what recommendations Trailhead had the influence and power to act on.  

First is improving WISE [Working to Institutionalize Sex Education]. Trailhead leads the WISE initiative in Colorado, helping school districts create effective, sustainable plans to implement CSE. While WISE is an awesome model of community engagement, advocacy, and sustainability for sex education, there’s always room for improvement. We’re intentionally integrating multiple anti-oppressive recommendations from the SASH into our WISE approach. The other three recommendations we’re taking the lead on include co-collaboration, funder accountability, and a health graduation requirement. We’ve also collected resources to support our partners and our larger audience in advocating for these recommendations.

“We live in a society where adults have a lot of power. I think it’s important to use that power to elevate young people as leaders and experts in what sex ed looks like, because young people should have autonomy over their bodies.”

Taruni: Are there future SASHs that are in the works? 

Adrienne: I don’t think so, for a couple reasons. First: funding. We were funded by the ReproCollab to reimagine the SASH, and that funding didn’t continue after the completion of the report. We always have to consider funding for a new project, especially when we compensate folks to be a part of this work. We compensated all Board members $1,000. Young people were paid $200 to participate in the pleasure art shops and give us the rights to use their artwork.  

Additionally, because we emphasized storytelling rather than quantitative data, redoing the report doesn’t necessarily make sense when the anti-oppressive recommendations are still true today. There’s still work to be done, and systems have yet to shift in accordance with the recommendations. Instead of putting the time, energy, and capacity into creating a whole new report, let’s put that into seeing these recommendations come to life. And never say never, you know? With new funding and the right resources, we could explore releasing a supplemental report to update on where the work is today. 

And the SASH is one report in an ecosystem of resources that support this work. The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment conducts the Healthy Kids Colorado Survey every other year and is the state’s most comprehensive survey to better understand the health of young people today. The survey not only collects a vast array of data, but it also presents the information in a clear and accessible way. Alongside the anti-oppressive practices shared within the 2023 SASH, the survey is a valuable resource to for schools, districts, and communities working to support young people. Plugging into these existing efforts can be equally impactful.

Taruni: Speaking of bringing these recommendations to life, what unique challenges or tensions have come up – either recently or in the past – when trying to increase access to CSE in Colorado, and how are you navigating them? 

Adrienne: Throughout my experience, the challenges and tensions that arise are often rooted in fear or misinformation about CSE. Or parents will believe that having CSE means they have to give up something, like their values. I’ll hear, “You’re impeding on our values,” or “You’re influencing my children to not have our family values.”  

We don’t react with combativeness or retaliation, but rather validation. Then, we get really clear about what’s being added through CSE. I hear you, and let’s discuss what is added to a young person’s life when they have this information. How is this supportive of a young person’s growth, development, and exploration of their values on a deeper level? We get clear that nothing is being taken away, and we want young people to have these conversations at home. And you get to also explore this with your young person.  

I also think the fear comes from negative experiences that adults themselves have had with sex ed. Maybe they had a version of sex ed that perpetuates shame and stigma. Or they had no sex ed. When we have these conversations in community, we’ve really tried to meet people where they’re at with compassion, while also circling back to the fact that everyone in the room wants their young people to be healthy, safe, and thriving. We all want the same goal – how we get there might look a little different. A lot of compromise can happen in that space.  

Research shows that parents overwhelmingly support comprehensive sex education in schools. Image from Planned Parenthood. 

Taruni: I recently listened to an NPR story about a Supreme Court case judging whether parents can opt their children out of classes when they don’t agree with the curriculum, especially for religious reasons. Are there any similar challenges or arguments that you hear from communities, especially in your advocacy for a health graduation requirement in Colorado? 

Adrienne: We’re currently exploring how Trailhead and the Youth Sexual Health Program fit into the bigger ecosystem of advocacy for a health graduation requirement in Colorado. In initial conversations we’ve had, especially with the Colorado Department of Education, which hears from school districts across the state, there’s a belief that more schools will opt into teaching health if it’s not mandated.  

So right now, school districts can opt in to the health graduation requirement. There are school districts in Colorado that see the value and currently have this requirement. And there are school districts that don’t have a health graduation requirement. This means that young people’s experiences with health in school look very different across the state. Access to health education and health information is not equitable, when it should be a human right.  

I had also heard about that Supreme Court case. The parent in this situation is worried that their young person will get access to information that will influence or indoctrinate them, right? Whether it’s in the classroom or not, your young person is going to access information that you’re not going to be able to control or censor all the time. Young people have access to different media, different tools, and different access to relationships in a way that I never experienced growing up. CSE ultimately empowers young people to cultivate the skills to filter that information in a meaningful way for themselves. Young people can take what feels relevant to them, and they can continue these conversations with askable, trusted adults.  

All young people should have access to health in school at least once in their life. We’re talking about the bare minimum. And to the parents that are so worried about their young people getting access to information that doesn’t align with their values, you can build your own skills to navigate those conversations when your young person inevitably has questions and will want to explore more.

 “Often, I wonder if some of my experiences in life would have been different if I had access to the CSE that I’m now advocating for. And how would our world be different if everyone growing up had access to CSE that is not rooted in shame or dictated by adults, but that is actually informed by young people and their experiences?”

Taruni: What helps you keep pushing for CSE for all Coloradans, even when challenges feel insurmountable?   

Adrienne: Gosh, this question feels so timely. Lately, it’s felt like you take five steps forward, 15 steps back. Sex ed, relationships, bodies – it’s all so politicized, and there’s just so much happening on the federal level that pushes progress back.  

I keep pushing for CSE because I hope that we can live in a society where young people are empowered to make informed decisions, where they get to explore their goals, dreams, what makes them feel good. Like I said earlier, I didn’t get that experience. I wonder what that would have looked like for me. I hope that young people are able to bring their entire selves to learning and to life, that their whole selves are celebrated, that they get to feel joy and pleasure in their bodies. And I hope that we can live in a world where adults aren’t scared to let go of their assumptions and preconceived notions of how young people get to exist. I hope adults are able to work through their trauma so that they’re not perpetuating harm.  

This world might exist hundreds of years from now (laughs). Unfortunately, we live in a society where adults have a lot of power. I think it’s important to use that power to elevate young people as leaders and experts in what sex ed looks like, because young people should have autonomy over their bodies.

Adrienne Gomez in youth (L) and as an adult (R). 

Taruni: How do you support youth in being true leaders in expanding access to CSE? 

Adrienne: Working at an organization, we hold influence and power. We make space for young people and are intentional with how we include them in our work. We don’t just ask young people for feedback, even though that’s important and is a part of our process. Instead, we’re brainstorming, creating, informing, deciding, and implementing together. We explore how young people can engage with our work at every step, not just in a performative or tokenizing way, but truly at the center so they can make an impact.  

Also, young people need to be compensated for their time, knowledge, lived experience, and expertise. A goal of the program is to one day have young people on staff so that they are equitably compensated for their contributions to our program. But in the meantime, we still compensate young people, support the work of our partners who also elevate young people as leaders in a clear and intentional way, and hold other organizations accountable when we can. You want to partner with young people? Great! How much are you going to compensate them? Are you informing what that partnership looks like, or are you asking young people how they want to be engaged? Who holds the power in those relationships? While a lot of our partners are already intentional or well-intended, it’s important that we’re having these conversations and being clear about the impact, influence, and power we hold. Get curious. Be open to feedback. Let’s all move forward, together.