Co-Creating Magic:

Ocean Candler on the State of Sex Education in Colorado

Edited by Taruni Donti

Taruni: If you could design the sex education you wish you had growing up, what would it look like?

Ocean: Often, adults are the decision makers around what sex ed programs and curriculums look like. If I could design the sex ed that I wish that I’d had when I was a young person, young people would be designing it.  

When I was a young person, I had the opportunity to be a part of a peer-led sex ed program. It was the most impactful sex ed I got, more so than the curriculums that were being used throughout Utah. We explored how sex ed could guide students to talk to each other and give opportunities for students to share how they see themselves in what they’re learning. I learned from my peers and talked through issues that we actually cared about and experiences that we were actually having. It was one of the first spaces where I felt I had real autonomy among my peers to have conversations that felt important to me. I wanted more of it.  

That sex ed program was still pretty rigid and scripted. Not all the topics were relevant. Content around media literacy and media safety, especially, was outdated compared to what I was experiencing as a young person who just got access to Snapchat, Instagram, and Tumblr. These weren’t discussed even though – especially growing up in a conservative area like Utah where we weren’t getting the education in school – we got so much sex ed-related content through social media.  

By designing sex ed with young people, we can tap into what they’re navigating and want to learn and discuss with each other in an environment that allows for setting boundaries and creating as much safety as we can provide. Peer-led sex ed is magic. It will always be the best way to provide sex ed to young people – by young people, for young people. 

Taruni: You also partner with school districts, youth-serving professionals, and trusted adults to create custom trainings on topics related to youth sexual health. During these trainings, do you guide educators to facilitate peer-led sex ed? 

Ocean: It depends. With our partners, I try to talk through ways to bring peer education into learning. There are ways to think about peer-led sex ed outside of, say, having several young people trained as sex educators who go into different classrooms. Sure, that’s great. And also, let’s discuss how peer-led sex ed can happen in the classroom with your students. How can students be leaders in discussions? Maybe that looks like having mini roundtables, where students research a topic and bring in discussion questions that they discuss in small groups with their peers. Or maybe leadership looks like having students present on a topic they choose. Or maybe teachers survey students at the beginning of the year to get a better understanding of what they want to explore together in class. These methods of peer-led sex ed are often more feasible for teachers.  

I have so much appreciation for our teachers. School districts and teachers deal with a lot. They wear many different hats. Their time is stretched thin. They’re expected to teach many different skills and cover many content areas. When we talk to teachers, our goal is to discuss how we can make youth-centered sex ed feel feasible and adaptable to what they’ve navigating in the classroom. We never say, “this is how you should implement because we know what’s best, regardless of your time and capacity.” Teachers and educators and administrators are really doing the most right now, and we want to celebrate them and give them more resources and ideas rather than expectations that are hard to make work.  

There are teachers who do peer-led sex ed well. A former teacher in Denver had a whole peer-led sex program within her science class. It’s possible, but if it’s not already being done, it’s hard for districts to visualize what this can look like.  

One tool we created to support school districts is a youth engagement menu, which includes options for how young people can engage in sex ed programming – before and during implementation – as decision makers. We’re starting to use the youth engagement menu with new partners, especially as districts begin planning for the next school year. Ultimately, this education impacts youth the most, and students can feel when curriculum is irrelevant to them. They engage incredibly differently when the curriculum truly centers their experiences.  

Ocean Candler facilitates a training with The Learning Council in Paonia in July, 2024.

Taruni: You also host trusted adult and parent nights, both in liberal and conservative areas of the state. What are those conversations like, and what do you take away from them?

Ocean: We host a couple of different parent and community engagement opportunities. One is parent nights, which are guided by school districts. If the school district is ready to implement a new curriculum, or the current curriculum has changed, parent nights are a great opportunity for parents to ask questions and better understand what that curriculum is. There’s often a lot of curiosity. We’re there to support, but we encourage school districts to lead these events because it’s their community. It’s important that districts build trust with parents as partners in education.  

We also host trusted adult nights that are open to the public. Anyone who considers themselves a trusted adult can come. These nights are always guided by the community, and every trusted adult night will look different and is specific to community needs. The goal is to talk through how adults can support the young people they love and care about. We discuss how to be askable, trusted adults so that young people have multiple sources of support when they need help or have questions.  

Every time we have a trusted adult or parent night, it changes what the next one looks like. Often, when I first start these sessions, there are many misconceptions around what we mean by sexual health education, or what’s actually shifting when a curriculum changes. But then, parents are able to look through the curriculum, learn more about our state law, see the standards that align with the curriculum, and understand why this education is so important and how it impacts young people. Parents might also have preconceptions around how we talk about identity, gender, and sexuality. When we talk through what those conversations actually look like in the classroom, most of the time parents are like, “Oh, okay, that makes a lot of sense. You’re just answering my student’s questions and providing information, not values.” 

These trusted adult and parent nights have ended up being some of my favorites. I really see how adults care about their young people. We can all – trusted adults, schools, community members, after school programs – work together to get on the same page about what that care looks like and, as a team, provide education and support to young people. Comprehensive sex education (CSE) can support young people’s experiences at school and at home. CSE increases connection between families and their young people, and it is important for parents to feel like they have the resources and skills to have these conversations.  

“I think we can all think of spaces when we were young people – where we felt belonging, meaning, and discovery – that inform who we are as adults now.”

I think that in both conservative and non-conservative areas of Colorado, parents and adults really want support, because they often didn’t get CSE themselves. I try to provide opportunities for adults to reflect on and process their experiences. How did it feel when you were a young person and were flooded with messages around sexual health? What memories or beliefs come up for you? How does that then make conversations at home difficult? Trusted adults might avoid these conversations because they don’t know how to have them. It’s difficult to know what this looks like when you didn’t grow up with it. Ultimately, you are not just a parent or a trusted adult – you are a human being with lived experience and identities that inform the way that you experience the world, and that shows up in your conversations with young people every day.  

These events are a huge opportunity to build empathy, and many of these nights end up being huge for peer support and connection among fellow parents and caregivers. Most adults that show up to these events want to discuss their lived experiences and what it would actually look like to have those conversations in an affirming way for their young people. Together, we build those skills and talk about what resources adults can lean on. I often get the sense that adults feel a huge sense of relief at the end of these events. CSE is truly a community effort and should be prioritized for the health and wellbeing of young people. I think it’s easy to make assumptions about how people are going to show up in those sessions. I’m always surprised and, honestly, also relieved. These interactions have a huge impact on me, too.  

Taruni: How do your learnings from these parent nights and trusted adult nights then inform your conversations with school districts and educators?

Ocean: First, they’re a great way to gauge community support. Often, school districts are very surprised by how many supportive adults show up. We can inform school districts about the number of adults that showed up because they wanted information and resources about CSE, and this is only a fraction of the adults that will support CSE in your district. We also will amplify to the school district – while respecting anonymity – any concerns brought up at these events. It’s relevant to share what adults observe their young people navigating at home and in the community.  

[L-R] Senior Program Manager Adrienne Gomez and Program Manager Ocean Candler.

Taruni: What is one barrier to health equity that you see often and how do you work to address it?

Ocean: Lack of access to CSE is a health equity issue. When we discuss sex ed, we try to get folks to think expansively about its impact. Sexual health education is connected to mental health, substance use prevention, racism, access for medical health care, suicide prevention, social emotional skills, bullying, and so much more. We see so many positive health outcomes when young people have access to inclusive, culturally relevant CSE that truly speaks to them, acknowledges their identities, and where they can explore their lived experiences around health access, relationships, and power.  

I think a huge barrier to CSE in Colorado is that we don’t have a health graduation requirement, or even a sex ed requirement. Colorado has an if-then law, which means if a school district wants to teach CSE, then it must be inclusive, culturally relevant, destigmatizing, and so on. There are certain requirements that sex ed courses must meet – which is great. I love the language within this law. But the law is still limiting. If a school district is hesitant to teach sex ed in the ways outlined by law, then they are allowed to not teach sex ed at all. Or, school districts may secretly choose to teach abstinence-only or abstinence-based sex ed. There’s little accountability.  

And Colorado is one of the four states in the nation that don’t have a health graduation requirement. Essentially, we don’t require students to have taken a single health education course to graduate. It’s entirely up to the school district. Some school districts here do have a health graduation requirement, while others don’t.  

We’re also seeing that with recent budget cuts in education, health is one of the first courses that is marked as low priority. It’s very clear that health is devalued in education. I often see teachers and administrators confused by students’ performance in math, science, and social studies classes. Reading levels and other learning indicators have fallen since the pandemic started. Students aren’t testing well, which then further affects school funding. But how are students supposed to perform well in these other core content areas when they don’t feel supported in their health and well-being?  

As a start, I think that every student in K-12 should get health education. There are so many skills that young people can learn in health education around how they can support themselves, how to take care of their own bodies, how to treat each other well, that will impact how they show up in school and in their personal lives. It’s important to acknowledge that health education is not going to address the systems that actually impact young people’s experiences. But, when health education is done inclusively, teachers feel supported, and young people can show up in a safe space, we see how these discussions impact the larger school environment and support young people in their learning.  

Taruni: Are there states that you think model a health graduation requirement well?

Ocean: States like Oregon and California are doing this work well. Although, the colleagues I have in Oregon and California have mentioned that some school districts still teach whatever they want. We need to ensure that districts are accountable to the state law in regard to health education.  

Also, what works in other states may not necessarily work here. Every state is unique and faces unique challenges and barriers to health. I think that districts should still have autonomy over what true health education actually means and looks like for their communities. And I think that the bare minimum is to have a health graduation requirement in Colorado.  

Taruni: Where do you want to see CSE in Colorado five years from now?

Ocean: In my dreams – in addition to Colorado having a health graduation requirement – I would love to see school districts approach conversations around CSE with excitement and curiosity rather than fear. I don’t blame people for being afraid. I don’t blame districts or educators for showing up to these conversations with fear and worry. We’re watching teachers get doxed online or be secretly recorded in their classrooms. Throughout the nation, we’re watching parent groups go after educators and get them fired. I 100% stand by wanting to protect teachers. 

I’ve also felt that when we partner with school districts, a lot of doors can open once we get to a place of curiosity and excitement. Many people realize that these conversations around health make sense. Many times districts will realize how health and CSE actually support their mission and vision for their schools. CSE isn’t just that infamous clip from mean girls, or it’s not just putting condoms on bananas. That’s actually hardly what it is. I would love to see folks excited about CSE and the impact it has.

I would also love to see Colorado embrace a K-12 CSE approach, integrating the education thoughtfully and age appropriately across grade levels. Let’s explore how this can really empower students to approach health and well-being in a holistic way that is unique to them.  

I would also love to see a peer-led sex ed program in Colorado. We’ve had them previously, and Colorado still has a few youth advisory councils and young people advocating around sex ed. Some amazing youth councils include Be You Colorado, the Youth Healthcare Alliance Youth Advisory Board, and Colorado Youth Congress. But I would love to see more peer education in our state. And I’d love to see funding for it. 

In the next few years, a huge goal of ours is to focus on how people can see themselves in sex ed advocacy. You do not have to be a health teacher, a sex educator, a student- anyone can care about CSE and contribute to sex ed advocacy, just like you can contribute to any other form of advocacy. CSE has such a wide reach and impact people’s lives in so many different ways. We can all be changemakers. This can look like talking with your friend about the type of sex ed you received growing up. If you are caring for a young person, understand what their access to sex ed is. Or attend school board meetings. Call your representatives and senators if a CSE-related bill is up during a legislative session. Advocacy comes in many forms – both big and small. We can build community by listening to and advocating for each other, even if an issue doesn’t necessarily impact our day-to-day lives. I’m excited to celebrate Sex Ed for All Month, because sex ed is truly for all. It’s for you, too. 

“Peer-led sex ed is magic. It will always be the best way to provide sex ed to young people – by young people, for young people.”

Taruni: What’s something a young person has said to you that really stuck with you?

Ocean: So many things. This question makes me very emotional. I have had the privilege of working with young people. I still stay in touch with many of them that I’ve worked with previously. I mentioned that when I was a young person, I was a part of a peer-led sex ed program. After college, I was able to facilitate that program and was in community in really magical ways with young people. In my current role, I get to be invited into spaces where young people lead so much of this work, and we’ve had the capacity to partner with and compensate young people in our work. We’re thought partners together, and I’m able to hear their ideas, experiences, and feedback. Young people teach me things all the time. I think we as adults just need to step aside.  

A recent example: one of the young people I stay in touch with was part of a program I supported in my previous role. I reached out to them because I saw a huge achievement they posted about. I was so excited for them. They said, “I hope you know that the space that we created together had a huge impact on me.” That was just so cool. Obviously, that had nothing to do with me – that space was created by young people. They showed up as themselves and decided what our year together would look like. It was really cool and shows how spaces co-created and led by young people can impact them forever. I think we can all think of spaces when we were young people – where we felt belonging, meaning, and discovery – that inform who we are as adults now. I have vivid memories as a young person of getting to be in spaces like that. They inform who I am as an adult now.  

I have another example. I was on a call with a couple of young people last year. One of them said sorry for something that they didn’t need to apologize for. You know, we’re just conditioned to say sorry all the time. And the other person said, “I reject your sorry”. I use that all the time now. It gives an opportunity to catch each other in how we are conditioned. It’s a perfect example of how young people have the tools, the language, the knowledge. If we just listen, we’ll learn a lot.